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    If you like the feeling of penetration I used to make a simple mixture of flour and water until it is pliant, but still kind of firm and stuff it into a condom and tie the end closed. Stylistically similar to As If, following a non-linear narrative, it also features ex-cast members Paul Chequer, Jemima Rooper and Mark Smith and, as such, can be seen as its spiritual successor.


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    Now, let’s be clear here: it is great to speak to people on public transport.

    But Londoners, who are not known for their chatter with fellow commuters, immediately criticised the idea on social media, mocking up their own preferred badges with slogans such as 'wake me up if a dog gets on'.

    'We currently only promote two badges to be worn while travelling - our Baby on Board badge and a new trial badge for people with hidden disabilities which encourages passengers to offer those less able to stand a seat.'Sian, from Wales, tweeted to say she was 'bemused' by the uproar and said 'making friends is nice', while Northerner Nic said she enjoyed a Friday morning natter in the card section of her supermarket.

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    A new wave of nervous commuters will now arise, worried that they’re going to burn in social hell if they aren’t open for a chat with person next to them wearing an unnaturally wide grin for the morning and sporting a 'Tube Chat?

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