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    Although I hid my true motives under the guise of self-discovery, I was really not dating because I had given up.

    I’m not the only woman who has bowed out of dating altogether.

    Tired of the disappointments, false starts, and no-gos that seemed inherent in dating, I swore it off altogether.

    I told myself this was just a break, a dating "fast" if you will, an opportunity for self-reflection and a chance to recalibrate.

    When it comes to dating, I’ve found that you don’t even have to go on a date to feel emotionally exhausted.

    So many of us have had enough ambiguously platonic “hangouts” to feel romantically hopeless—without ever even entering into real dating territory. I found myself in just such a situation not too long ago.

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    And for those who are not currently dating, this fact can turn into something they just have to obsess about. Over the years I’ve heard numerous stories of the positive effects that the fast has had on our missionaries’ views of dating and love.Kerry Cronin, a professor of Philosophy at Boston College, made the news a few years ago by assigning a pretty radical project to her senior seminar. Something simple in theory but nerve-wracking in application.What Cronin was really getting to the heart of was a behavior that she’d been observing all around her on campus.But perhaps one of the most shocking things they do is give up dating for an entire year. All first year missionaries fast from romantic relationships for one year. FOCUS doesn’t ask its missionaries to fast from dating because dating in and of itself is bad, but rather FOCUS asks its missionaries to fast from dating because if we are not careful dating can become something we just have to have. “He is going to look so amazing standing next to me in the wedding dress I pinned on my Pinterest wedding board, but maybe I should change his boutonniere from a red rose to blue hydrangeas to match his eyes! And why am I going to suggest that you do the same? You vow never again to order anything of importance online and hop in line at the local coffee shop. Instead of you being in control of the espresso, the espresso was in control of you.

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